From the friendly caves of Pixie Hollow.

 

'You tell that newsagent I'm coming for him with a cricket bat!" Raged the voice down the phone.

 

The receiver was slammed down. My eyes were like saucers.

 

'Oh f^ck,' I muttered, hands bashing the keyboard as I tried to find the newsagent's number.

 

I dialled the number.

 

It rang.

 

And rang.

 

I tapped my fingers on the desk. 'Come onnnn,' I breathed.

 

Suddenly, a warm male voice greeted me pleasantly.

 

'G'day mate, it's Leticia again,' I began.

 

By now we were on daily calls, and knew each other pretty well. It had been more than two months of calls, trouble-shooting, collaboration, and ideation, trying to make this now-insane subscriber happy.

 

I explained what I'd been told.

 

'So, you might want to call the police and lock the door,' I finished. 'He said he's coming down to bash you with a cricket bat.'

 

I could picture the long-suffering newsagent nodding his head wearily. 'I'm not surprised,' he said. 'I better go. And thanks! I appreciate your call.'

 

The crazy in question wasn't getting his newspaper by breakfast. 

 

What began as an idle complaint about not being able to read the paper with breakfast, and thus being uninformed at golf with friends, had become an insurmountable disaster.

 

The feller lived in rural NSW, so was at the mercy of trucking logistics over which we had zero influence. The trucks also carried the competitor's papers, you see.

 

The newsagent altered his route, threw the paper over the back fence instead of the front, offered to go through the route map with the bloke to solve the issue together...

 

But this man got crazier and crazier.

 

To the point where he began following the newsagent's personal vehicle.

 

He knew the number plate, he said.

 

He knew the agent was stopping for coffee instead of doing his run, he said.

 

This is just one of many actually insane customers that I've had the pleasure of dealing with in the past.

 

It's why, when I tell you that I am fantastic at putting your team through its communication paces, I'm able to conceive all kinds of situations that will test their mettle.

 

Hopefully your business doesn't attract the same kind of crazies as the Daily Telegraph. But even if it doesn't, knowing your Client Communication eXperience -- from the client's perspective -- gives you the powerful ability to craft a luxurious feeling of safety.

 

Even when your clients flip out about something apparently trivial.

 

Your CCX is what defines your position as a market leader.

 

Which is why I'm offering a full CCX Mystery Shopping audit during the month of luuurrvveee for just $2400.

 

The offer expires on 15 February.

 

Reply for more info if you'd like to discover whether it's for you.

 

Xx Leticia "dealt with all the crazies" Mooney

 

PS. The newsagent and his family were unharmed, but the subscriber was cancelled for being a violent d!ck. And yes, I was the one who got the satisfaction of telling the idiot that he was fired. It was as delicious as you can imagine. Surprisingly, he accepted it and just went away.

 

 

Please let me know what I can do for you.
 
Leticia Mooney is a consultant with decades of experience writing with and for people like you. Her company Brutal Pixie casts the the kind of spells your customers love. It consults to businesses in content strategy, content writing, ghostwriting, content operations, communication strategy, audits, investigations, training and coaching. Leticia is also the mother of an intelligent, engaging, and curious boy, who is named after a character created by J.R.R Tolkien. You can learn more about her at https://biodagar.com/about, and her business at https://brutalpixie.com.
 
Leticia Mooney
PO Box 1190
Pasadena SA 5042
Australia
Phone/Text (Signal/Telegram) +61 421 925 382
Follow on Telegram at https://t.me/leticiamooney
Follow on LinkedIn at https://linkedin.com/in/leticiamooney
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